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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22434916">Hardest Of Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissysTardis/pseuds/MissysTardis'>MissysTardis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,919</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22434916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissysTardis/pseuds/MissysTardis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zelda watched Lilith's movements, as minimal as they were. The way her hand shook ever so slightly holding the teacup, causing the tea to ripple gently as she brought it up to her mouth. The way she didn't dare look up at Zelda, almost as if her eyes were glued to the ground, and the way she winced slightly as the hot tea burnt her tongue but still allowed it to sit in her mouth and continue to sting.</p><p>(it's a fix for the nightmare that was season 3, which we are pretending didn't happen)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>126</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Open Arms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Basically I hated season 3 so we're pretending it didn't happen</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night sky looked over the Spellman home, empty of all it's residents but Zelda. Sabrina and Ambrose had disappeared to cause whatever trouble they had set their minds on, and Hilda was on a date with Doctor Cerberus.</p><p>Zelda opened the door and welcomed Lilith into her house, Sabrina told her to invite her over because she was "worried about her", and honestly so was Zelda, she hadn't heard anything from her since the defeat of The Dark Lord, and she'd caught word from Sabrina that things in hell haven't been going well. </p><p>"Hello" she said bluntly, not knowing what to say, or how Lilith would react to her.<br/>
"Hi" replied Lilith, her eyes on the floor, and her usual confidence seemingly gone.<br/>
Zelda looked at Lilith with concern and confusion in her eyes, why wasn't she happy? She was finally Queen of Hell, free from Lucifer, she should be full of joy, Zelda felt that something was extremely wrong.</p><p>She took Lilith to the kitchen and made some tea, Lilith sat silently as Zelda attempted to make polite small talk. It wasn't often that Zelda felt so concerned for someone, but Lilith wasn't just 'someone', she was her idol, and someone who she might just have a tiny crush on. </p><p>Zelda watched Lilith's movements, as minimal as they were. The way her hand shook ever so slightly holding the teacup, causing the tea to ripple gently as she brought it up to her mouth. The way she didn't dare look up at Zelda, almost as if her eyes were glued to the ground, and the way she winced slightly as the hot tea burnt her tongue but still allowed it to sit in her mouth and continue to sting.</p><p>Zelda couldn't watch this carry on.<br/>
"Lilith look at me, please" she whispered, and Lilith obeyed at such a speed that it scared Zelda. It was then when she finally noticed the huge bags beneath Lilith's empty eyes.<br/>
"when was the last time you slept Lilith?" she asked gently.<br/>
"I don't need sleep" murmured Lilith in reply.<br/>
"Lilith..." said Zelda, empathy flooding her voice "everyone needs rest."<br/>
"No, I'm fine, believe me, I'm perfectly fine" replied Lilith, her voice small.</p><p>Lilith didn't even know why she even agreed to come over, her mask of confidence was gone, she couldn't keep it up anymore, but a little voice in her head told her that she needed to see Zelda, that it was the right thing to do for her, that Zelda would help her, she would understand.</p><p>"No you're not, you're not fine, tell me what's wrong" replied Zelda, she didn't mean to sound so commanding, and she immediately regretted it once she saw Lilith's blank stare flash with fear.<br/>
"I haven't slept since we trapped..." Her eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As she blinked, they dripped from her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in attempt to stop the tears from flowing "since we trapped Him, I cant sleep, every time I shut my eyes the nightmares come" said Lilith turning away from Zelda, hoping that somehow she hadn't seen the sea of tears running down her face.<br/>
"Lilith, please" said Zelda, her heart aching "let me help you"</p><p>The name Lilith felt wrong to her ears, she didn't feel like Lilith, she felt weak and small, not the confident demoness she used to be. </p><p>Zelda reached for Lilith's hand, looking up for consent to touch, she received a nod and placed Lilith's soft hand in hers, giving her a sad smile. <br/>
"come with me" she said softly, and took Lilith up to her bedroom.</p><p>She sat next to Lilith on her bed<br/>
"you need to rest" she said to Lilith, praying she would listen to her.<br/>
"No..." panic flooded Lilith's face "No I can't, the nightmares, I-" Lilith's breaths started to come in raking gasps, pushing the memories away, not letting them take root.<br/>
"Lilith it's alright, whatever I have to do I will, you've been the demoness I've worshipped since my days in the academy, I can't watch you suffer" she said<br/>
Lilith's body betrayed her, it's trembled and shook, and as much as she tried to hold them in, tears spilled down her face.</p><p>She placed her head on Zelda's shoulder, her tears seeping into Zelda's soft silk blouse, which just happened to be a lovely shade of green that complemented Zelda's red hair perfectly, or at least Lilith thought so. She thought a lot about Zelda, to her she was just perfect.</p><p>Zelda cupped Lilith's cheek, moving her hand softly through her hair, in an attempt to comfort her. <br/>
"You need rest" said Zelda rather matter of factly "you can sleep in my bed if you want, just know you don't have to" she said, her voice going soft.<br/>
Lilith just nodded gently in reply.</p><p>Zelda offered Lilith a silk nightgown in a deep red colour, and oh she looked just divine in it, Zelda couldn't take her eyes off her. </p><p>She lay down in Zelda's curled up against her chest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Flickering and Burning Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lilith could almost feel herself flickering and burning out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zelda slept peacefully, it felt perfectly normal to have Lilith in her bed, she felt like she'd known her for all of eternity, all the prayers and cries to her in the night, Lilith knew every one of Zelda's secrets.</p><p>Zelda was awoken by the sound of soft muffled cries coming from Lilith.</p><p>Suddenly Zelda felt guilt flood her body, it was her fault, she should have done more. Her heart ached for the pain Lilith must be feeling. </p><p>"Lilith, you're safe it's ok" she whispered gently, trying to wake Lilith from her nightmare.<br/>
Nothing happened.<br/>
"Lilith!" she said, her voice louder than she meant.<br/>
Lilith jolted awake, tears fresh in her eyes, and her breath shaking.<br/>
"Lilith, you're safe, you're ok" said Zelda repeatedly, throwing her arms around her. Lilith's body was rigid and untrusting at first, but she melted into Zelda's arms as she remembered where she was.</p><p>They sat in silence as Lilith processed her surroundings. Zelda didn't know what to do or how to help, and she hated it. She was used to knowing everything.</p><p>The sun rose inexorably over the hills and peered through the window of Zelda's bedroom. Suddenly, in a moment of agonising nausea Lilith's mind began to wander away from the Spellman residence and closer to hell. Her mind flashed with images of Lucifer, and all the incomprehensibly horrifying  things he'd done, the way he grinned as he committed his crimes, his teeth so bright she could almost catch her reflection in them.</p><p>"Lilith?" questioned Zelda as she caught Lilith's vacant stare and rising heartbeat.</p><p>Zelda watched Lilith's demeanor change, the few hours of sleep that Lilith managed to get seemed to have returned her usual disposition. However, fortunately or unfortunately for Lilith, Zelda now saw right through the facade, the act that she'd been putting up for years.<br/>
"Don't" asked Zelda, she didn't want this, she didn't want Lilith pretending she was ok, she knew she wasn't.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Look I don't have an explanation for why it's so late and short oops , still I hope y'all like it &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Let Me Help You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All Zelda wanted to do was help Lilith.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You can't keep this facade for the rest of eternity Lilith" said Zelda, her brows furrowed.</p><p>Zelda watched Lilith with careful eyes, she remembered when she first saw her walk into the house, she thought she looked so fragile, now she realised she was simply broken.</p><p>Lilith bowed her head in shame, eyes glued to the floor, she was embarrassed of what she'd become, or what Lucifer had turned her into.<br/>
"I'm sorry" she managed to say,her voice small and meek, because she knew that if she said another word tears would begin to pour and she wouldn't be able to stop them. Lilith looked up only to find pity in Zelda's eyes, she didn't need to be pitied.</p><p>"Oh Lilith please" said Zelda her voice dripping with concern "don't apologise"</p><p>Hearing her name was painful, for the hatred that Lilith felt for herself had become so deeply ingrained in her that it felt like second nature, she hated being herself and would give everything to change it.</p><p>She felt panicked, frantic even, a hot wave taking over her body, her breaths became more frequent and her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest.</p><p>A tear rolled down Lilith's face, followed by another, then another, until tears were cascading down her cheeks, she couldn't bring herself to even do as much as look up at Zelda, shame drowning out Zelda's words of comfort. She was ashamed, she no longer felt like herself, Lucifer had taken a part of her, leaving behind nothing but the husk, a shell of what once was the almighty and powerful demoness Lilith.</p><p>Lucifer had broken her, she used to be so strong, she used to exist as a concept of power and elegance, now what was she?</p><p>Crying? In front of Zelda? Who even am I anymore, Lilith thought to herself.</p><p>Zelda on the other hand, saw Lilith as the most beautiful creature in the universe, to a point of guilt.</p><p>This woman is in pain and all you can think about is sex, you're disgusting, Zelda monologued internally.</p><p>She really was slowly falling in love with Lilith, she had been ever since she began praying to her, and seeing her in such a state made Zelda's heart ache, she'd give anything to make Lilith feel better.</p><p>"I- I- can't." choked out Lilith, her voice raspy and full of pain. She ran out the bedroom door in a panic.</p><p>"Lilith- wait" said Zelda, unsure of whether to follow. She didn't want to make her more uncomfortable, but her concern took over as she ran out following Lilith.</p><p>Lilith ran into the bathroom and locked the door, hearing the vague cries of Zelda begging her to let her in. She slowing sunk to the floor her soft skin hot on the icy tiles of the bathroom.</p><p>Her mind dragged her against her will, back to the days, the nights, where Lucifer would so cruelly and so mercilessly hurt her. She could almost feel his huge and overbearing shadow cast over her, the same way it did before he would begin his wicked crimes. Lilith felt small, like she could crumble at the smallest touch, well who was she lying to, she was already crumbling. His big clawed hands grabbing at her waist, her neck, she felt her stomach sinking bile rising to her throat, eyes covered in a teary haze as she squeezed them shut.</p><p>The bathroom door crashed open.</p><p>Heavy breaths escaped Zelda and she stood, wide eyed staring at Lilith on the bathroom floor.</p><p>God she looked so fragile.</p><p>Lilith's eyes were shut, her arms wrapped around her knees as she shook.<br/>
"Lilith..." Zelda knelt down, carefully moving closer to Lilith.</p><p>Lilith's eyes opened revealing a wide and haunted stare. Zelda's heart dropped.</p><p>As soon as she opened her eyes Lilith felt her heart pounding in her chest, ringing through her ears, hands shaking. Her vision became disfigured, as if she were looking through a kaleidoscope. Nausea took over Lilith as she choked out breaths.</p><p>"Lilith- please how can I help" said Zelda, concern rising.<br/>
"I'm- so- sorry" Lilith managed to spit out. She felt humiliated, she'd never been so vulnerable, she held Zelda in such high esteem, she hated to think what Zelda thought of her now.</p><p>"Lilith- let me help you" Said Zelda, her voice softened and low.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll try update this soon (sorry that it's not long, I'm not very good at writing super long chapters), anyway hope y'all like it :))) (also thanks for the comments they always make my day)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If anyone actually likes this I'll probably continue :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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